Late August note
Phil Konstantin
Aug 26, 2001 22:51 PDT
Hi,
This is just a short note. I will be going to Oklahoma on Thursday to
attend the annual Cherokee Nation festival. This will be my first visit
to my tribe's headquarters. I will take lots of pictures and share them
when I return for the September newsletter.
Until then, here are a few Oklahoma jokes my mother set me. She grew up
there. She now lives in Pasadena, Texas.
-----------------
IT IS SOOO HOT IN OKLAHOMA THAT .......
The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
hard-boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
A sad Oklahoman once prayed, "I wish it would rain, not so much for me,
cuz I've seen it, but for my 7-year-old."
A visitor to Oklahoma once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?" A
rancher quickly answered "Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in the
Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?" The visitor replied,
"Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood." "Well," the rancher puffed up,
we got about two and a half inches of that."
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
You can make instant sun tea.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of
distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is
out on the streets.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end
up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The golf caddie's only instruction is "play for shade!"
--------------
P.S. It is even hotter in Texas
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